About a month ago I went on a shopping trip for a wedding dress with one of my daughter’s friends. She had tried on several dresses, and finally came out in THE dress – it was lovely on her, and exactly what she’d imagined. We oooh-ed and ahhh-ed and then she put her hands in the folds of the gown’s skirt and with amazement declared, “It has pockets!” Every woman there gasped as if an old friend that no one had seen for awhile had just walked in the door. “No really?” someone asked. “Pockets, that IS awesome!” another said admiringly.

I have a real love-hate relationship with the fashion industry, and some of the things that I hate include the fact that recently

Looks like a pocket, but nope, it's not.

Looks like a pocket, but nope, it’s not.

fashion designers are taking their cues from the infant apparel industry – they don’t want us to get scratched by hooks at the top of zippers or tangled in skirt linings? Umm… no? Let me guess, it’s about money? Of course it is. Well, I can live without most of that stuff, but, seriously, pockets are important. I am really tired of not having any pockets! Even half the jackets I buy don’t have pockets anymore, and the pants have such shallow ones (or they’re sewn shut) that you can’t put anything in them. Isn’t the point of pockets that you can use them? Fashion should be both beautiful and functional – right? You guys learned that in Fashion 101. So keep in mind that sometimes women don’t want to have to carry a purse, because like men, we’d like to be able to just slip our phones and wallets and keys into a pocket when we go out.

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The dress has straps, so the purpose of the ribbon is?

And I’m not done with my fashion complaints – there’s also those stupid satin ribbons that you suddenly sew into everything, ostensibly so that clothes don’t fall off the hanger. Those are patently worthless. First of all, they don’t keep stuff properly on the hanger – maybe on a strapless dress, a ribbon might be useful but if the neck of a blouse is too wide, it’s going to slip off the hanger unless you make the hanger wider (I’m pretty sure this is not rocket science). The garment may dangle on the hanger from the ribbon, but it’s not going to stay pressed – oh that’s right, nobody presses clothes anymore anyway. Furthermore, if you don’t cut off the ribbons they stick out from the neck of the garment or through the armholes, simulating the attractive look of the old lady whose bra straps hang out of her sleeveless blouse (or the hooker who … ok, I watch too many cop shows). By the way, I have never seen a man’s shirt with satin ribbons attached.

Finally, there’s the tags. I am so over tags at the back of the neck that itch and pop up, and show through sheer blouses. Other women are always tapping you on the shoulder to tuck them under for you – so humiliating. The industry used to sew them flat into the garment so they didn’t flip up, and now there’s apparently a new rule that they have to be attached at the back of the neck. Arghhh! I get brand recognition, and all that, but at the very least, couldn’t you make tags easier to remove, or maybe without that gold thread that feels like pins sticking in my skin? Apparently, only women have to suffer to be fashionable, because you don’t see metallic thread in men’s labels.

So what I’m saying is get with the times, designers! Women want it all – fashion and comfort! Quit being so gender biased – it’s simply unfashionable (see what I did there?)

Sincerely,
A Supporter of Fashion Equality